Exaggeration versus Lying

Trinity loves pretend play. She loves to dress up as a ballerina and dance around the house or put on a cowboy hat & boots and pretend she's in a rodeo. She pretends to be a singer, a basketball player, a volleyball player, a princess, the list is quite endless. While in the pretend mode, she will often say she is giving dance lessons or teaching someone what she is doing. She loves to put on concerts and parades. While I love seeing her be creative and using her imagination I've begun to worry lately. Sometimes her pretend play leaks into reality. We will be out at Home Depot or the grocery store & she will be dancing around and someone will ask her if she is in dance & she'll state emphatically "Oh yes, I love taking my dance lessons." Except she has never taken a dance lesson in her life. Or while she is watching Michael Phelps win multiple gold medals state "I am a better swimmer than he is. I could beat him." She has been taking swim lessons for a month & has yet to swim without their flotation devices. She also claims in public that she is a wonderful horse rider and she takes singing/guitar/piano lessons. She has ridden a horse once at a fair where it went in a circle & she has never taken a music lesson in her short life. I know that part of this is her age (she's 4 1/2), but at what point do I correct her and tell her that actually what she is doing is lying. I don't want to embarrass her in public, but I also don't want people getting the wrong information. How much of this is normal and how much should I be concerned about? I'd love to get opinions from all of you. Thanks.

Pop/Soda/Soft drinks/Carbonated beverages

I'm not sure what you call them in your area of the globe, but I'm talking about Coke, Pepsi & all the in between carbonated, sweetened and most of the time caffeinated beverages that most people consume. I dislike these drinks overall and generally consume them on rare occasions. People find this odd, because I also dislike water, but that is a post for another day. Why am I blogging about my dislike of soft drinks? Because for some reason it seems the only beverage that does not make me queasy right now. WTF??? I would think this would be bad enough, but no, it gets worse (at least in my mind). When I have a soft drink I tend to be a Pepsi or Pepsi product drinker or an A & W root beer fan (I make an exception for root beer floats - yum!). I don't think there is a nastier product on the market than Mountain Dew and Coke & any diet products come a very close second. Why am I telling you this, because for some reason my beverage of choice at the moment is Cherry Coke. I gravitate towards it at restaurants, when we do eat out these days I choose restaurants that I know serve Cherry Coke - basically, I am a Cherry Coke addict. I am hoping this phase does not last long, because I don't think I can handle the long term affects on my body. And, please no comments on how I shouldn't be drinking caffeine while pregnant, because I've gotten the okay from my doctor and right now we are just concerned about getting any fluids at all in me.

Guilt

I hate guilt. I think it is a wasted emotion for the most part. I really try to own my actions so I live a pretty guilt-free life. However, I am currently feeling some guilt. Because I have been feeling so crappy and when I'm not feeling crappy I am so freaking tired I've been *neglecting* the physical needs of my husband. He hasn't been pressuring me and he even tells me it is okay. But I'm not an idiot, I see he is having a difficult time. The problem is that with Trinity I'm pretty sure we only had sex once while we were pregnant and he went like 6 months without sex. I would prefer not to have a similar situation this time. This is why I hate guilt, you cannot win. ARGH!!!!

Rough week

I've been a little out of touch and I apologize for that. This week was a bit rough. I have been very nauseous lately, but keeping it under control with the Zofran and Zantac. However Wednesday I took the Zofran in the morning as usual and then promptly threw up. There was some blood in my vomit, but when I talked to the phone nurse she didn't seem concerned. It happened again on Thursday & the nurse didn't seem concerned again when I called. Friday I was unable to keep anything down, but since when I had called it hadn't been 24 hours they told me I was supposed to wait. Didn't keep anything down all day on Friday and all morning today. I didn't dare go for fluids this morning, because I had a wedding today and I couldn't risk being late. So, Mike shot my wedding today while I stood (sat) around looking pathetic. Immediately after finishing the wedding Mike dropped me at the ER & I got two bags of fluids & some IV Zofran. I had a great nurse & doctor & I was out in less than 2 hours. I'm trying to eat something now, then I'm going to bed.

I am SO lucky.

Lucky that I have a phenomenal doctor. I love my doctor. He isn't perfect and I've had my issues with him over the years, but overall I think he's one of the best. He takes me seriously and listens to me when I have concerns. For instance, the hyperemesis gravidum (HG) has hit hard today. I've noticed this time around that my stomach acid is high when I feel my sickest. So, I logically thought that maybe Zantac would help. I called the phone nurse and after patronizing me and telling me I'm putting my baby in danger by even thinking of taking Zantac in the first trimester she agreed to talk to my doctor. I admit that I didn't have much faith in hearing from her again. However, she did talk to my doctor and she had to call me back eating crow and tell me that my doctor told me to 'absolutely try Zantac if I feel it will help'. As I said I love my doctor, because I feel better already.

He is far from broken, but he's getting fixed. . .

DH that is. Considering that this pregnancy was a great big giant OOPS and I really don't want that to happen again I suggested (okay, really I just flat out told him) that he needs to go get fixed. Shockingly, he seems a bit put off by this idea. He spouts something about his manhood and needles and knives or something, but I couldn't hear him clearly as I was heaving my guts out at that moment. When I pointed out that for him it was an outpatient procedure with little to no risk involved, he responded with "Well, since they are already going to be in there, can't they just tie you up?" UH, say what was that? Who are 'they'? and Where are 'they' going to be? Does he really not remember the first time, where I pushed a few times and out came a crying bundle of energy. Do I not remember him there next to me encouraging me even as I puked on the nurses shoes? I don't remember 'them' with their little prospector hats going mining for the baby. Maybe I was a little out of it, but I'm pretty sure I'd remember someone climbing in my vagina screaming "Hey, since we're in here, is there anything you'd like us to do? There's a baby in here, would you like us to push that out? Maybe dust the shelves, put away the dishes, clean up a bit? Tie something off? Whatever, we're in here." I think for that statement alone he should get snipped.

I don't have to be excited.

Trinity is excited enough for EVERYONE! In my wildest imagination I could not have fathomed just how excited she is. She wants to know every detail and has even asked if she can go to the doctor with me. She wants to know how big it is and where it will sleep and the name. She has become ultra-protective of me, too. My SIL, who lived with us when Trinity was little, was teasing me and Trinity just flipped out, screaming "Don't say that to my Mom, you will hurt the baby's feelings."
Everyone seems happy for us, but since I'm since not quite to the excited stage, people were looking at me weird all day yesterday. I'm sorry that I find it hard to get excited about something I NEVER WANTED TO DO AGAIN. I am excited about the baby, just not about being pregnant. Give me a few more weeks and if I'm not puking 10 times a day, then maybe I might lighten up a bit - maybe.

And the ultrasound said . . .

Little blob is due March 24, 2009. I want to thank all of you for your support and encouragement. I also want to thank you for not thinking I'm a basket case because I'm having a hard time getting excited about being pregnant. The ultrasound went well and little blob's heartbeat was around 155 and implanted in a great spot, so they said my risk of miscarriage at this point is very low. We still haven't told anyone, although I think we are going to tell family tomorrow. Trinity has been at my sister's and we go get her tomorrow morning, then we have a family BBQ at the in-law's because DH's sister & family is home from Vegas.
I'll make sure I let you know how telling the family goes. After all look at your reaction and you didn't have me telling you personally "Never, never, never, never again." Yep, looking forward to that one.

Today we find out.

Today is our dating ultrasound. We find out how far along we are and our due date. For some unexplained reason I'm very nervous. I had a thought flitter through my head yesterday that this is twins, maybe that is why I'm nervous. I'm not sure I could handle that news, being pregnant is enough of a shock.
DH has admitted to being excited. I had to admit I wasn't there yet. I'm still not. Is that bad or wrong? Maybe it has to do with our history of miscarriage or that I know what is to come in the form of all things pukey. I just can't get past terrified right now. I thought by admitting it to the cyber-world that I would be forcing myself past that, but it didn't work. I'm scared to death.
Early Monday morning I was in the ER for fluids & then I was in OB again Monday afternoon for more fluids for a total of 3 bags of fluid. This before we even have a due date.
Did I mention that my blood pressure has been high this week? Yep, I've never had high blood pressure in my life, but now I'm so freaked my pressure is rising.
I may have to break out the Thai Chi DVD just to calm my ass down.

Deep breath . . . in . . . out . . .

Psst, psst . . . I have a secret . . .

And it is HUGE! But I know I can trust all of you, because you don't know any of my real life friends and if you do I know you won't say anything, because that just isn't who you are. I can trust you, right?!?! This is big, well bigger than big, you may want to sit down.

You see, here's the secret . . . I'm pregnant. Yep, that's right I'm with child, knocked up, having a baby. I know we thought we were done, too, but obviously someone had other ideas. We are still in shock, but no one had a heart attack, so we are leaning towards "We're happy." We are not at "We're thrilled." yet, but this hit us out of no where.

Here's a little background for those of you who don't know my history:
I hated being pregnant. I was sick the entire time and was on the second highest dosage of Zofran they can give. The Zofran made it so I wasn't throwing up all day, but I was still queasy. I had so many IV treatments that I had to have a PIC line put in so they wouldn't have to give me IV's in my feet. To make things worse, Trinity was breach for most of the pregnancy and was using my gall bladder as a pillow. They thought that there was a chance I would have to have surgery removing my gall bladder after I gave birth. Thankfully that didn't happen. Overall, I was miserable the entire pregnancy.

So, from very early on in Trinity's pregnancy I made sure everyone knew I was having an only child. You couldn't pay me enough to be pregnant again, yet here we are and absolutely no money has changed hands. Okay that isn't entirely true, because the pharmacy now has the majority of my money & by the time this pregnancy is over I'm sure they will own my house, too. (Zofran is EXPENSIVE!).

Starting last year I've been having unusually long cycles. One was 6 months last year and this year it was 3 1/2 months, but I don't deal well with hormonal birth control, so that was out as an option. We've been using protection, but apparently not enough. I started feeling like AF was showing last week, but nothing. Yesterday I had to run down to the drug store for some paper towels for the studio & some voice in the back of my head said "Something is off in your body, you should test." So I bought a test, peed on a stick, fell off the toilet (I hadn't finished peeing when the positive showed up) and promptly called the clinic. I have a history of miscarriage, so I always have a blood test done. My hcg levels are 2713 & I go in for a dating ultrasound next week. We aren't telling anyone, because of our history of miscarriage, the fact that we are still in shock so 'congratulations' seems hollow, and because we have no freaking idea when we are due.

So, there it is, our secret & it is a whopper isn't it. Now I know it is hard to keep a secret, but I must insist on you not telling ANYONE. After all, what if my family found out - eep!

I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm SO VERY SORRY!

I didn't realize I had abandoned you for so long. Where did the time go? Oy, I must get myself more organized. I'm sorry loyal readers. I really have nothing planned for today's post, so how about I give you an update as to what is new in the life of Neda.

You all know about the new baby. Have I mentioned how much I love him? He is so sweet! My sister (Grandma) finally got to see him over the weekend. They are going to be the world's best grandparents. I loved watching them. My nephew & niece-in-law are borrowing a few more baby things, so I have them convinced to come get them, so I can do the 'official' newborn photos. I'm so excited.

My sister, brother-in-law, niece, nephew, niece-in-law, great nephew & sister's MIL came down to watch our ski show on the 4th. It was interesting considering I haven't skied since before Trinity was born. My sister had never seen me ski before. I managed to get all my moves in, but failed in staying dry. I biffed both my landings. It was a beautiful day, though.

Our 4th was pretty mellow. We had the ski show, then had a few people over & grilled. Our town has an awesome fireworks display every year. They shoot them off over the lake and they last over 30 minutes. This year I think was 40 minutes long. The bugs weren't bad and Trinity wasn't too squirmy. We got home & Mike entertained our guests while I put Trinity to bed, then I fell asleep almost right afterwards. I was so tired.

Saturday I had a wedding that was so much fun. This group was so easy to work with. I'm downloading their pictures right now & I can't wait to start editing them.

Sunday we had a BBQ at my nephew's house. It was so nice to just hang out, eat and talk. Trinity was playing frisbee (she's better than me) with her cousins (who are 30 & 28) and the dog. I've never heard her laugh so much. After the BBQ we stopped at another friends house and hung out there until it was time to head home.

All in all in was an awesome weekend where I got nothing accomplished, but I'm so glad Monday is here. I love order & structure & routine. Trinity thrives on it, so our lives are so much easier during the week.

I've been busy with pictures and editing pictures, so I apologize again for neglecting you. I'll try to be better. And I'll try to get some photos up soon.

Favorite Friday

This was taken this morning. Aidan is 6 wks old & his dad served in Iraq with my nephew (who coincidently had his baby this past Tuesday).

Introducing. . .

Justin Ray Braulik

and my most favorite picture of Justin & Trinity:
My sister hasn't been able to see him yet as she lives 5 hours away and they don't have much freedom in flexible scheduling, so she is very jealous that I've seen her grandson first. I'm going to see him again tomorrow, so I'll get more pictures. Hopefully with my nephew & his wife in them. I have some awesome ideas I want to try. He's so perfect.

WOOOOHOOOOO!

I'M A GREAT AUNT! I'm so excited, my nephew & his wife had their baby yesterday. Justin Ray weighed in at 7 lbs 3.3 oz and was 21 3/4" long. Trinity & I are headed over to the hospital today to see everyone & of course take pictures. I can't wait! Life is good.

Sorry I've been neglecting the blog, but wedding season has me so freaking busy I barely have time to pee. It should slow down a little over the next couple weeks. So, I'll be back. Make sure you check in tomorrow to see pictures of my new great-nephew.

I can't believe my sister is a grandmother. Life is awesome.

50 Things About Me

50 Things about me

1. I am child #6 of 7 (but only 6 of us are still alive).
2. I am the only one without a common name (Gary, Lucy, John, Brian, Neda & Paul).
3. My Dad named me (My name means "Sunday's Child" & I was born on a Sunday).
4. My favorite color is purple.
5. I'm addicted to Mob Wars on Facebook. It is the only reason I'm on there.
6. I love my job.
7. I have my Bachelor's degree in Economics w/a minor in Sociology.
8. Until after college I was never interested in photography.
9. Trinity is named after The Matrix.
10. I have two cats named Misha and Ralph.
11. My oldest nephew is 4 years younger than me and expecting his first child any day.
12. I hate cleaning & I am bad at it, too, therefore my house is usually not clean
13. My mom & my sister were pregnant at the same time w/my sister delivering first.
14. I love picking paint colors & I'm really good at it.
15. My husband banned me from buying black clothes once, because that is all I wore.
16. I hated, hated, hated being pregnant.
17. Sometimes I think I want another child.
18. Most of the time I think I don't want another child.
19. Occasionally I don't want the child that I have.
20. My husband & I met because he was my college professor.
21. We were both dating other people when we started dating.
22. We didn't start dating until 3 years after I was his student.
23. I like to blog, but rarely have anything interesting to say.
24. I dislike the majority of my family.
25. I have size 6 1/2 feet.
26. I cannot sleep without blankets no matter how hot it is.
27. I'm convinced I'm going to die from my car driving into a lake.
28. I live right next to a lake.
29. I cannot eat yogurt with a metal spoon. It makes me gag.
30. I freak out if anyone puts their hand around the front of my neck.
31. My ex-boyfriend used to measure my hair before and after a haircut to make sure I didn't get too much cut off.
32. I love my house. It was built in 1896.
33. I love planning remodel projects, but I don't actually want to do the work.
34. I'm not very fashionable.
35. I love formal dresses and own 5 formal black dresses that have only been worn once.
36. I rarely drink water.
37. I mostly drink white chocolate caramel cappaccino.
38. My favorite fruit is watermelon.
39. I dislike all cooked vegetables except corn.
40. I love raw, fresh from the garden vegetables.
41. In the winter I only shave my legs when I have to wear a dress.
42. I would make a horrible stay-at-home-mom.
43. I hate taking baths.
44. I wear long sleeves even in the summer.
45. I'm very unorganized.
46. I like watching TV.
47. My favorite movies are Diggstown, Eddie & 10 Things I Hate About You.
48. My go-to comfort food is barbeque potato chips & Top the Tater dip.
49. I've never been on my honeymoon.
50. I've never taken a vacation that didn't involve seeing family.

The only bad thing about weddings.

Is that they take up an entire week of time afterwards to edit the photos. Considering that I've been doing one wedding a weekend, I just don't have time for much else, including my blog. I have so much I want to talk about, but I feel guilty blogging when I should be editing pictures.

I will tell you a little story about this past weekends wedding, though. Then I really need to get back to work.

The wedding was beautiful and everything was going exactly as planned. Everyone was happy, the families were wonderful, the best men cooperative. The weather was threatening rain, and we were scheduled to go to the golf course after the wedding to take some pictures, but to insure some outside pictures we snuck some in posed in front of the church. These turned out very nice even though the guys almost melted. After the ceremony it still wasn't raining, so we headed to the golf course. As we were taking the last photo the tornado sirens sound. We all hop in our vehicles and race to the reception one town over. We arrive at the reception and start getting the important pictures taken when the power to the entire town goes out. After about 10 minutes the reception site gets onto generator power. We finish pictures and my assistant and I are debating whether to wait out the storm or make a mad dash home (we are 45 minutes south of home). We decide to make a mad dash and take off. We drive west and almost drive into the path of 5 tornadoes on the ground. We decide to head south (opposite direction we need to go) to try to skirt around the storm cell. It works and soon we are cruising along until we hit another tornado on the ground that passes within a mile of us. We never stopped, because I just wanted to get home. We managed to stay safe and after we returned to normal weather closer to home we kicked ourselves for not taking pictures of the storm. Oh well, we were mostly concerned about staying alive. Anyway, that is the excitement of last weeks wedding. Oh, and it ended up being a good thing we left, because the town we were in flooded and no one could leave about 3 hours after we left.

Favorite Friday

Here is my favorite Friday post (on time even!). This is from last Saturday's wedding. I really want to clone this bride's mother, because she was AWESOME to work with, and the bride's Dad had me laughing all day. This couple is so wonderful to work with.
This photo is from the first time he saw her that day.
Can't you just feel the love he has for her. It was such an emotional day. Everyone cried at least once. I hope this weekend is as much fun.
I have a feeling Favorite Friday is going to be a bit wedding heavy these next few weeks, because I'm shooting a lot of weddings right now. I hope you don't mind. Have a great weekend everyone.

What am I missing here?

A little over a year ago I needed to write a business plan. I had no idea what the heck I was doing so I started my research. I read books, scoured the internet and asked every business owner I came into contact with what they did. At the end of a month I still had no idea what the heck I was doing. Enter the Small Business Economic Development Center, a non-profit organization that has volunteers who know what they are doing to help small business owners in all stages. I was very fortunate to be paired with a retired bank president who had seen & written numerous business plans in his career (score me!).
Since it has been a year since I've written the plan, I thought a little review was in order, so I called to make an appointment to review said business plan & financial statements. Here is a snippet of our meeting:

Retired Bank President: "I see here you didn't take a salary last year & you haven't taken one to date this year."

Me: "I didn't make enough money last year to take a salary. And this year I'm still trying to play catch up from last year, so there is still no money to take."

RBP: "You know you need to take a salary or the banks won't take you seriously."

Me: "Because the fact that I've been working my tail off for the last year isn't serious enough?"

RBP: "The banks won't take your figures seriously during a loan review if you don't show a salary."

Me: "Wouldn't they rather I give them the money or pay my rent than put it back in my pocket."

RBP: "They will not think you are a serious business if you don't pay yourself. I mean no one works for free."

Me: "Granted, but if I'm barely breaking even & last year showed a loss, how do I justify my salary & where does it come from?"

RBP: "Pay yourself from your profits."

Me: "Uh, there are no profits yet. We would be thrilled if we break even this year. Can I start taking a salary once I'm making money, like hopefully next year?"

RBP: "You still need to show that you want to take a salary on your projections."

Me: "So you want me to lie."

RBP: "It isn't a lie, you want a salary don't you?"

Me: "No, I like being poor."

RBP: just stares at me

Me: "I mean yes, that is my goal, the one I've been striving for and the whole reason I'm here."

So, I'm supposed to be taking a salary from a business that hasn't even broken even yet. I can't wait to explain this to my husband. I may need to video tape, because I'm pretty sure his head will literally explode.

Trinity Tuesday

Trinity is tall for her age and also has a very extensive vocabulary. She is articulate and most people can understand everything she says. The only time she is really misunderstood is when she is talking to people she doesn't know, because she whispers. I mention this because I'm so used to her looking and behaving older than she is that I forget she is only 4 1/2.
Trinity has peculiar eating habits. She won't eat bread, but loves garlic toast. She won't eat any type of pasta, including mac & cheese. She will however eat copious amounts of fruit & veggies. Her favorite snack (besides pretzels) is plain saltine crackers dipped in apple juice. And if it comes in gravy poured over mashed potatoes she is guaranteed to eat at least 3 helpings.
She would prefer to be outside over just about anything. She has a new Barbie bike that she wants to "give to another girl who might need it." Because "I'm big enough for a motorcycle." She has brought out a love of gardening in me.
She says "camelope" instead of cantaloupe. She says "gradulation" instead of graduation. And no matter how many times you correct her she always puts the state before the city. We live in "Minnesota, Albert Lea". Cousin Lunden lives in "Nevada, Henderson".
Her hugs are fierce and tight and I never want her to let go. She is always running out of kisses and has to "save the last one for Daddy or he'll be sad." She laughs with her whole body and is completely fearless. She hates to disappoint us and feels that deeper than any punishment we could ever dole out. She has empathy oozing from her every fiber. It amazes me daily how she puts the needs of others before herself, while still being a strong leader and bossing anyone who comes within hearing range around.
I was gone a lot of the weekend taking pictures. Trinity was feeling left out, so she asked if we could take pictures of her. Here is some of what we did:

Favorite Friday on Tuesday

Sorry this wasn't up yesterday. Something was up because I couldn't upload a photo to my blog. I'm not sure if I was taxing my computer by downloading 600+ pictures off my camera or if my computer just hated me yesterday.
Anyway, here is one from over the weekend. Sophie just turned 1 and here is what we did: