Maternity photos

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Naive, strict, old-fashioned, out of touch - what am I?

I liked how I was raised. I think my parents did a great job and I turned out pretty well. My parents weren't perfect & made plenty of mistakes, but they let me explore my surroundings & gave me a stable foundation in which to build my life. So, I learned from their mistakes, but I try to raise Trinity with the same values I was raised.

However, DH & I seem to be the only ones who subscribe to our parenting style. Not that this bothers me, but I'm wondering if I'm out of touch with how children are raised today. For example, we expect Trinity to have table manners, well actually, manners in general. We follow through with what we say, so if she is misbehaving and we tell her 'x' will happen if she doesn't stop, then 'x' happens. Not sometimes, but every time. We expect her to be quiet during church and not run in stores. She has to hold our hand to cross the street & she only watches age appropriate TV & movies.

It is the TV & movie rule that seems to be criticized the most. My SIL sees nothing wrong with letting her 3 1/2 year old watch Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix. My good friend lets her 7 year old watch Star Wars, Doctor Who, Harry Potter, Indiana Jones, etc. I won't even allow Trinity to watch Hannah Montana, because I think high school issues are meant for an older demographic than an almost 5 year old. I don't think the humor in shows like "Back in the Barnyard" & SpongeBob are appropriate for her age either.

So, am I just old-fashioned, out of touch or too strict? I know that I am comfortable with my parenting style & I have no plans to change anything, but I am interested in knowing if I am the only parent who feels this way.

I survived Vegas, pretty much.

Vegas was a blast, for the most part. The flights were fine. I met some new cool people & I got about a months worth of walking in. I slept very little & it caught up with me Saturday night. The rest of the girls went out clubbing Saturday evening, but I went back to the condo after dinner, because I knew I had overextended myself on Friday. Well, after everyone left I got ready for bed, and after lying down I started violently vomiting. I think in the end I slept less than the girls, because I was so unbelievably ill. I managed to get through the flight home without being sick, and I even slept a little. Once I got home, it was another story. I am so grateful for the PICC line, because I think it is the only thing that saved me from a hospital stay. I slept from 3pm on Sunday until 7am Monday waking for an hour to attempt dinner (& promptly throw it back up). I feel much better today and ate an apple for breakfast & some lunch. I can tell I'm still dehydrated, so I may do three bags of fluid today to get myself totally back to normal.

When I'm feeling a bit more normal, I will post some Vegas pictures. We had so much fun!

I'm going to Vegas

I've had this trip planned for several months, but it has always seemed so far away and now I'm leaving in less than a week. How did that happen? Where did the time go?

DH's cousin is getting married, so I sort of put the idea in her head that she needed a Vegas bachelorette party. Okay, maybe I just needed to go to a Vegas bachelorette party, but that was before I got knocked up. Obviously my initial plan of partying like a single girl in Vegas isn't going to happen now & I'm okay with that, but I'm still looking forward to the trip. I adore DH's cousin & her sister (who is also coming). DH's sister lives in a suburb of Vegas, so I get to see my niece (& my SIL & BIL) which I am excited about. I don't know the other girls going, but I'm sure they are tons of fun. We plan on going to the 'Thunder from Down Under' show on Friday night and one of my favorite Italian restaurants on Saturday. I know I will have to pull out of a couple of the activities, but hopefully everyone understands.

Of course I've been in a panic for two days because my SIL is one of the most stylish people I know & so is DH's cousin. I have no clothes that fit or are appropriate for Vegas nightlife. I guess I will survive or I'll just go naked. That's okay in Vegas right?

I will post all about it after the trip as I'm trying to get by without dragging the laptop with me. I really want to travel as light as possible.

Our daughter's first solo adventure

Sunday started as any other Sunday - up early, breakfast, church, Home Depot, lunch, nap, etc. Little did we know that our evening was going to be far from routine. First, we discovered our upper cabinets had to come out in one piece, so we had to call in favors for people to rush over and help us remove them. We are trying to reuse our cabinets, so we wanted to take them out gently. Second, I developed a clot in my PICC catheter so I had to run to the emergency room to have it de-clotted. Right before I headed to the ER Trinity asked if she could play outside, but since I was leaving and DH was in the kitchen, I said 'no'. DH then yells from the kitchen that he let her do it on Saturday while I was at work. *sigh* Okay, I caved and said fine assuming DH & Trinity had worked out some kind of arrangement. I'm waiting in the ER, which is pretty busy, when DH comes rushing in, looks around and runs out again. Uh, what the hell, I am thinking. So I have a friend of mine who is keeping me company when it dawns on me that Trinity must be missing. I can think of no other reason for his behavior. She leaves to help him search and I'm stuck in the stupid waiting room of the ER unable to do anything.

Turns out in the end that Trinity had asked if she could push her baby in her stroller on the sidewalk. DH had said yes, assuming she meant the sidewalk in front of our house. However, she decided to take her baby for a walk on the sidewalk on the busy street at the end of our block. Then, she apparently decided it would be fun to visit the park. The park is about 1/2 a mile from our house and involves crossing one of the top 5 busiest streets in our town. DH found her and she spent the rest of the evening sitting in the recliner. She is also unable to play outside for a few days at all and after that she must be supervised. She also had her TV priviledges taken away for last night and today until bed.

I'd love to be able to say 'I told you so.', but DH was so freaked by the whole incident I just don't have the heart. The bigger problem I see is that while she understood she was in trouble, she doesn't actually seem to think she did anything wrong. I have to admit that this worries me. We have always told her she cannot cross the street without an adult and we still enforce holding our hands when crossing streets, driveways & parking lots. When asked about why she thought it was okay to cross the street, her response was "But I thought I was old enough to cross by myself."

Call me crazy, but I see lots of gray hair in my future.

I'm finally back

I have been feeling pretty miserable lately & typing does not help. I've had a PICC line for almost 2 weeks and it has helped. I am able to give myself IV treatments at home or at the studio. So it helps me stay hydrated and I still get to be productive - woohoo!

Trinity is back at Montessori and doing well. I have kept her teachers apprised of what is going on at home, so if she has any behavioral issues or anything at school, her teachers know what is going on. So far everything is good. She is such a trooper through all this chaos of me being sick. We heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time in the ER. Trinity was with & she thought it was pretty cool. We are letting her come to the 20 week ultrasound and she is excited for that.

Today is construction (destruction) day 1. We are gutting our kitchen. We've hated our kitchen since we moved into this house 8 years ago, but there have been so many other projects that needed to get done, so the kitchen got dropped to the bottom of the to do list. Well, now it has made its way to the top. On top of gutting the kitchen and completely changing the layout, we are replacing all the plumbing and moving the laundry room from the basement to the second floor where all the bedrooms are. We are also going to gut the upstairs bathroom, but that will be more of a winter/spring project. DH is doing most of the work himself. This is good and bad. He is very talented and able to do the work, however, he isn't always the most motivated. We have several projects in various stages of 'doneness' around the house. We've picked out the new flooring and paint. I have an idea of what I want for lighting, we are keeping our existing appliances, since they are only a couple years old. DH & I still have to agree on cabinet hardware, a faucet & sink. We have it narrowed down to either a concrete countertop or we found this awesome granite tile today that I want most desperately. DH is crunching numbers to see which is in our budget.

So, lots of stuff going on. I am starting to get more energy, so hopefully I will get caught up at the studio and be able to post more often. I feel like I've been neglecting all of my friends. I hope to be better. And hopefully next time I will have pictures of my torn up kitchen.

Exaggeration versus Lying

Trinity loves pretend play. She loves to dress up as a ballerina and dance around the house or put on a cowboy hat & boots and pretend she's in a rodeo. She pretends to be a singer, a basketball player, a volleyball player, a princess, the list is quite endless. While in the pretend mode, she will often say she is giving dance lessons or teaching someone what she is doing. She loves to put on concerts and parades. While I love seeing her be creative and using her imagination I've begun to worry lately. Sometimes her pretend play leaks into reality. We will be out at Home Depot or the grocery store & she will be dancing around and someone will ask her if she is in dance & she'll state emphatically "Oh yes, I love taking my dance lessons." Except she has never taken a dance lesson in her life. Or while she is watching Michael Phelps win multiple gold medals state "I am a better swimmer than he is. I could beat him." She has been taking swim lessons for a month & has yet to swim without their flotation devices. She also claims in public that she is a wonderful horse rider and she takes singing/guitar/piano lessons. She has ridden a horse once at a fair where it went in a circle & she has never taken a music lesson in her short life. I know that part of this is her age (she's 4 1/2), but at what point do I correct her and tell her that actually what she is doing is lying. I don't want to embarrass her in public, but I also don't want people getting the wrong information. How much of this is normal and how much should I be concerned about? I'd love to get opinions from all of you. Thanks.

Pop/Soda/Soft drinks/Carbonated beverages

I'm not sure what you call them in your area of the globe, but I'm talking about Coke, Pepsi & all the in between carbonated, sweetened and most of the time caffeinated beverages that most people consume. I dislike these drinks overall and generally consume them on rare occasions. People find this odd, because I also dislike water, but that is a post for another day. Why am I blogging about my dislike of soft drinks? Because for some reason it seems the only beverage that does not make me queasy right now. WTF??? I would think this would be bad enough, but no, it gets worse (at least in my mind). When I have a soft drink I tend to be a Pepsi or Pepsi product drinker or an A & W root beer fan (I make an exception for root beer floats - yum!). I don't think there is a nastier product on the market than Mountain Dew and Coke & any diet products come a very close second. Why am I telling you this, because for some reason my beverage of choice at the moment is Cherry Coke. I gravitate towards it at restaurants, when we do eat out these days I choose restaurants that I know serve Cherry Coke - basically, I am a Cherry Coke addict. I am hoping this phase does not last long, because I don't think I can handle the long term affects on my body. And, please no comments on how I shouldn't be drinking caffeine while pregnant, because I've gotten the okay from my doctor and right now we are just concerned about getting any fluids at all in me.

Guilt

I hate guilt. I think it is a wasted emotion for the most part. I really try to own my actions so I live a pretty guilt-free life. However, I am currently feeling some guilt. Because I have been feeling so crappy and when I'm not feeling crappy I am so freaking tired I've been *neglecting* the physical needs of my husband. He hasn't been pressuring me and he even tells me it is okay. But I'm not an idiot, I see he is having a difficult time. The problem is that with Trinity I'm pretty sure we only had sex once while we were pregnant and he went like 6 months without sex. I would prefer not to have a similar situation this time. This is why I hate guilt, you cannot win. ARGH!!!!

Rough week

I've been a little out of touch and I apologize for that. This week was a bit rough. I have been very nauseous lately, but keeping it under control with the Zofran and Zantac. However Wednesday I took the Zofran in the morning as usual and then promptly threw up. There was some blood in my vomit, but when I talked to the phone nurse she didn't seem concerned. It happened again on Thursday & the nurse didn't seem concerned again when I called. Friday I was unable to keep anything down, but since when I had called it hadn't been 24 hours they told me I was supposed to wait. Didn't keep anything down all day on Friday and all morning today. I didn't dare go for fluids this morning, because I had a wedding today and I couldn't risk being late. So, Mike shot my wedding today while I stood (sat) around looking pathetic. Immediately after finishing the wedding Mike dropped me at the ER & I got two bags of fluids & some IV Zofran. I had a great nurse & doctor & I was out in less than 2 hours. I'm trying to eat something now, then I'm going to bed.

I am SO lucky.

Lucky that I have a phenomenal doctor. I love my doctor. He isn't perfect and I've had my issues with him over the years, but overall I think he's one of the best. He takes me seriously and listens to me when I have concerns. For instance, the hyperemesis gravidum (HG) has hit hard today. I've noticed this time around that my stomach acid is high when I feel my sickest. So, I logically thought that maybe Zantac would help. I called the phone nurse and after patronizing me and telling me I'm putting my baby in danger by even thinking of taking Zantac in the first trimester she agreed to talk to my doctor. I admit that I didn't have much faith in hearing from her again. However, she did talk to my doctor and she had to call me back eating crow and tell me that my doctor told me to 'absolutely try Zantac if I feel it will help'. As I said I love my doctor, because I feel better already.

He is far from broken, but he's getting fixed. . .

DH that is. Considering that this pregnancy was a great big giant OOPS and I really don't want that to happen again I suggested (okay, really I just flat out told him) that he needs to go get fixed. Shockingly, he seems a bit put off by this idea. He spouts something about his manhood and needles and knives or something, but I couldn't hear him clearly as I was heaving my guts out at that moment. When I pointed out that for him it was an outpatient procedure with little to no risk involved, he responded with "Well, since they are already going to be in there, can't they just tie you up?" UH, say what was that? Who are 'they'? and Where are 'they' going to be? Does he really not remember the first time, where I pushed a few times and out came a crying bundle of energy. Do I not remember him there next to me encouraging me even as I puked on the nurses shoes? I don't remember 'them' with their little prospector hats going mining for the baby. Maybe I was a little out of it, but I'm pretty sure I'd remember someone climbing in my vagina screaming "Hey, since we're in here, is there anything you'd like us to do? There's a baby in here, would you like us to push that out? Maybe dust the shelves, put away the dishes, clean up a bit? Tie something off? Whatever, we're in here." I think for that statement alone he should get snipped.

I don't have to be excited.

Trinity is excited enough for EVERYONE! In my wildest imagination I could not have fathomed just how excited she is. She wants to know every detail and has even asked if she can go to the doctor with me. She wants to know how big it is and where it will sleep and the name. She has become ultra-protective of me, too. My SIL, who lived with us when Trinity was little, was teasing me and Trinity just flipped out, screaming "Don't say that to my Mom, you will hurt the baby's feelings."
Everyone seems happy for us, but since I'm since not quite to the excited stage, people were looking at me weird all day yesterday. I'm sorry that I find it hard to get excited about something I NEVER WANTED TO DO AGAIN. I am excited about the baby, just not about being pregnant. Give me a few more weeks and if I'm not puking 10 times a day, then maybe I might lighten up a bit - maybe.

And the ultrasound said . . .

Little blob is due March 24, 2009. I want to thank all of you for your support and encouragement. I also want to thank you for not thinking I'm a basket case because I'm having a hard time getting excited about being pregnant. The ultrasound went well and little blob's heartbeat was around 155 and implanted in a great spot, so they said my risk of miscarriage at this point is very low. We still haven't told anyone, although I think we are going to tell family tomorrow. Trinity has been at my sister's and we go get her tomorrow morning, then we have a family BBQ at the in-law's because DH's sister & family is home from Vegas.
I'll make sure I let you know how telling the family goes. After all look at your reaction and you didn't have me telling you personally "Never, never, never, never again." Yep, looking forward to that one.

Today we find out.

Today is our dating ultrasound. We find out how far along we are and our due date. For some unexplained reason I'm very nervous. I had a thought flitter through my head yesterday that this is twins, maybe that is why I'm nervous. I'm not sure I could handle that news, being pregnant is enough of a shock.
DH has admitted to being excited. I had to admit I wasn't there yet. I'm still not. Is that bad or wrong? Maybe it has to do with our history of miscarriage or that I know what is to come in the form of all things pukey. I just can't get past terrified right now. I thought by admitting it to the cyber-world that I would be forcing myself past that, but it didn't work. I'm scared to death.
Early Monday morning I was in the ER for fluids & then I was in OB again Monday afternoon for more fluids for a total of 3 bags of fluid. This before we even have a due date.
Did I mention that my blood pressure has been high this week? Yep, I've never had high blood pressure in my life, but now I'm so freaked my pressure is rising.
I may have to break out the Thai Chi DVD just to calm my ass down.

Deep breath . . . in . . . out . . .

Psst, psst . . . I have a secret . . .

And it is HUGE! But I know I can trust all of you, because you don't know any of my real life friends and if you do I know you won't say anything, because that just isn't who you are. I can trust you, right?!?! This is big, well bigger than big, you may want to sit down.

You see, here's the secret . . . I'm pregnant. Yep, that's right I'm with child, knocked up, having a baby. I know we thought we were done, too, but obviously someone had other ideas. We are still in shock, but no one had a heart attack, so we are leaning towards "We're happy." We are not at "We're thrilled." yet, but this hit us out of no where.

Here's a little background for those of you who don't know my history:
I hated being pregnant. I was sick the entire time and was on the second highest dosage of Zofran they can give. The Zofran made it so I wasn't throwing up all day, but I was still queasy. I had so many IV treatments that I had to have a PIC line put in so they wouldn't have to give me IV's in my feet. To make things worse, Trinity was breach for most of the pregnancy and was using my gall bladder as a pillow. They thought that there was a chance I would have to have surgery removing my gall bladder after I gave birth. Thankfully that didn't happen. Overall, I was miserable the entire pregnancy.

So, from very early on in Trinity's pregnancy I made sure everyone knew I was having an only child. You couldn't pay me enough to be pregnant again, yet here we are and absolutely no money has changed hands. Okay that isn't entirely true, because the pharmacy now has the majority of my money & by the time this pregnancy is over I'm sure they will own my house, too. (Zofran is EXPENSIVE!).

Starting last year I've been having unusually long cycles. One was 6 months last year and this year it was 3 1/2 months, but I don't deal well with hormonal birth control, so that was out as an option. We've been using protection, but apparently not enough. I started feeling like AF was showing last week, but nothing. Yesterday I had to run down to the drug store for some paper towels for the studio & some voice in the back of my head said "Something is off in your body, you should test." So I bought a test, peed on a stick, fell off the toilet (I hadn't finished peeing when the positive showed up) and promptly called the clinic. I have a history of miscarriage, so I always have a blood test done. My hcg levels are 2713 & I go in for a dating ultrasound next week. We aren't telling anyone, because of our history of miscarriage, the fact that we are still in shock so 'congratulations' seems hollow, and because we have no freaking idea when we are due.

So, there it is, our secret & it is a whopper isn't it. Now I know it is hard to keep a secret, but I must insist on you not telling ANYONE. After all, what if my family found out - eep!

I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm SO VERY SORRY!

I didn't realize I had abandoned you for so long. Where did the time go? Oy, I must get myself more organized. I'm sorry loyal readers. I really have nothing planned for today's post, so how about I give you an update as to what is new in the life of Neda.

You all know about the new baby. Have I mentioned how much I love him? He is so sweet! My sister (Grandma) finally got to see him over the weekend. They are going to be the world's best grandparents. I loved watching them. My nephew & niece-in-law are borrowing a few more baby things, so I have them convinced to come get them, so I can do the 'official' newborn photos. I'm so excited.

My sister, brother-in-law, niece, nephew, niece-in-law, great nephew & sister's MIL came down to watch our ski show on the 4th. It was interesting considering I haven't skied since before Trinity was born. My sister had never seen me ski before. I managed to get all my moves in, but failed in staying dry. I biffed both my landings. It was a beautiful day, though.

Our 4th was pretty mellow. We had the ski show, then had a few people over & grilled. Our town has an awesome fireworks display every year. They shoot them off over the lake and they last over 30 minutes. This year I think was 40 minutes long. The bugs weren't bad and Trinity wasn't too squirmy. We got home & Mike entertained our guests while I put Trinity to bed, then I fell asleep almost right afterwards. I was so tired.

Saturday I had a wedding that was so much fun. This group was so easy to work with. I'm downloading their pictures right now & I can't wait to start editing them.

Sunday we had a BBQ at my nephew's house. It was so nice to just hang out, eat and talk. Trinity was playing frisbee (she's better than me) with her cousins (who are 30 & 28) and the dog. I've never heard her laugh so much. After the BBQ we stopped at another friends house and hung out there until it was time to head home.

All in all in was an awesome weekend where I got nothing accomplished, but I'm so glad Monday is here. I love order & structure & routine. Trinity thrives on it, so our lives are so much easier during the week.

I've been busy with pictures and editing pictures, so I apologize again for neglecting you. I'll try to be better. And I'll try to get some photos up soon.

Favorite Friday

This was taken this morning. Aidan is 6 wks old & his dad served in Iraq with my nephew (who coincidently had his baby this past Tuesday).

Introducing. . .

Justin Ray Braulik

and my most favorite picture of Justin & Trinity:
My sister hasn't been able to see him yet as she lives 5 hours away and they don't have much freedom in flexible scheduling, so she is very jealous that I've seen her grandson first. I'm going to see him again tomorrow, so I'll get more pictures. Hopefully with my nephew & his wife in them. I have some awesome ideas I want to try. He's so perfect.

WOOOOHOOOOO!

I'M A GREAT AUNT! I'm so excited, my nephew & his wife had their baby yesterday. Justin Ray weighed in at 7 lbs 3.3 oz and was 21 3/4" long. Trinity & I are headed over to the hospital today to see everyone & of course take pictures. I can't wait! Life is good.

Sorry I've been neglecting the blog, but wedding season has me so freaking busy I barely have time to pee. It should slow down a little over the next couple weeks. So, I'll be back. Make sure you check in tomorrow to see pictures of my new great-nephew.

I can't believe my sister is a grandmother. Life is awesome.