Thursday, July 31, 2008

Today we find out.

Today is our dating ultrasound. We find out how far along we are and our due date. For some unexplained reason I'm very nervous. I had a thought flitter through my head yesterday that this is twins, maybe that is why I'm nervous. I'm not sure I could handle that news, being pregnant is enough of a shock.
DH has admitted to being excited. I had to admit I wasn't there yet. I'm still not. Is that bad or wrong? Maybe it has to do with our history of miscarriage or that I know what is to come in the form of all things pukey. I just can't get past terrified right now. I thought by admitting it to the cyber-world that I would be forcing myself past that, but it didn't work. I'm scared to death.
Early Monday morning I was in the ER for fluids & then I was in OB again Monday afternoon for more fluids for a total of 3 bags of fluid. This before we even have a due date.
Did I mention that my blood pressure has been high this week? Yep, I've never had high blood pressure in my life, but now I'm so freaked my pressure is rising.
I may have to break out the Thai Chi DVD just to calm my ass down.

Deep breath . . . in . . . out . . .


Astarte said...

Oh, I love ultrasounds. Even when the baby is so tiny, it's just amazing.

I'm sorry you're such a stress case. I wish I could tell you that everything will be fine, or be able to say 'you can't change anything so you might as well relax' and have it actually work. All I can say is that I'll be thinking of you, and maybe you should try silently chanting a mantra when you get wound up. I find that helps me.

Penny said...

All the best Neda...

Let it be. Worrying about it all won't change a thing. (Says one chronic worrier to another!)

Please keep us updated!


Anonymous said...

Girl break out the dvd, whatever it takes to calm down, just do it.

It certainly is ok to not be excited. You're just being precautious.

One thing at a time.

Sara said...

Thinking of you, and praying!

Jennifer said...

I'm thinking abd praying for you!!!