I caught a glimpse of what type of person Trinity is going to grow up to be. I have heard about parenting being like wearing your heart on the outside of your body, but I've never really 'felt' it until today.
Trinity has had a bug since yesterday morning. She's thrown up a few times, has eaten almost nothing and is unbelievably lethargic. She just isn't herself. She is obsessed with her fever and taking her temperature. So far we've kept the fever in check, but I'm trying to let it run its course. She is dehydrated and weak. Earlier today I had to carry her downstairs to the bathroom.
Just a few minutes ago she had to go to the bathroom again. I think of this as a good thing, at least she isn't that dehydrated. I ask if she wanted me to carry her. Her response was a weak "No." She was wobbling down the stairs and so I asked if she wanted me to go with her. She muttered "Nooo, I can do it." After a few minutes I got concerned so under the disguise of getting something to drink for myself, I went downstairs to check on her. From the bathroom I hear "Mom, what are you doing down here?" Uh, busted. After she finished and we got her some more strawberry Gatorade, we headed back upstairs. Trinity was ahead of me and crawling up the stairs on her hands and knees. I asked if she wanted me to help her and she said with tears in her voice "No, I will do this myself." I had to stop to get a grip. My breath caught in my throat. This was her, my child not allowing adversity to stop her or get her down. This was the person she was going to grow into. I am only keeping the tears in check because I don't want her to think she is sicker than she is.
I could not be prouder, I can not believe I created this amazing being. I learned today what it feels like to have my heart outside my chest. There it is for the world to see, my heart in the form of a 4 year old who will not be taken down by anything, especially not the flu.